Do you find yourself dreaming of a happier life that you think lies beyond your grasp? Stop examining what you lack and look within yourself for the answers to the all-important question: What makes you really happy? All the money and beauty in the world may not bring that sense of contentment you seek. What pleases one person may not tickle the fancy of someone else. But that’s the important thing — you must follow your dreams, not someone else’s.
Money and good looks are great things to have, but they cannot make you happy if your emotional baggage outweighs your outer carriage. If you are insecure with no money, chances are you will still be plagued by inferiority after you pocket a cool $30 million.
Laquidara has a suggestion: “No one’s life is perfect — it’s how you deal with what comes your way that’s important. When something negative comes your way, approach it with problem-solving techniques, as opposed to wallowing,” Laquidara says.
As for envy, there’s a cure. “If you have a sense of self and you are giving and loving, then you won’t feel envy,” says J. Robert Gordon, Executive Director of the American Health Foundation. Most mental health workers agree that envy is due to not being comfortable with your own life. If that’s the case, then becoming happy is the best way to conquer envy.
“There are four ways to change your attitude and improve your life,” says Dr. Evelyn Hochberg, of Southcoast Psychotherapy in Boca Raton. “Be grateful for what you have, watch your thoughts (stop negative ones and substitute them for positive ones) and do something physical, like dancing or doing sport. Also, if you make a list of what you do have in your life, like friends, family, finances, interests and health, you might find that you’re better off than you think,” Hochberg says.
There are other ways to find happiness. “When you have a sense of fulfillment about your life, you will become happy. It’s knowing that no matter how torrential the rain, there’s always a rainbow beyond the clouds,” Gordon says.
What makes one person happy may not tickle the fancy of someone else. But that’s the important thing — you must follow your dreams, not someone else’s.
If you think your life pales in comparison to others’ — take heed. “Most people think that happiness depends on your circumstances, but the truth is, happiness has to do with your attitude and your state of mind. People who have everything are often miserable, and others with great challenges can maintain a sense of contentment,” Hochberg says.
If you’re still not convinced, chew on this. “If you think that celebrities have perfect lives, look how many of them end up in drug rehab and getting divorced,” Laquidara says.
HAPPYNESS: An Inside Job
from a literature of a health magazine
